Friday 6 April 2007

'Bored' in a hotel room writes:......

14.31 hrs - Its Good Friday in Portsmouth. I am reading the Bible. There is no other option, the TV in my hotel room is bolloxed, the light outside is too low for me to work. (Technically, this is called - shit lighting), oh, and the bar hasn’t opened yet. The last time this happened was in a seedier hotel in Tu Do, when I only managed to get to page 4. (There was no TV in Tu Do, probably because the electric supply didn’t exist).

14.44 hrs – If the bloody telly was working I could probably catch the new series of 'Most Haunted':
A man or a woman who acts as a medium or fortuneteller shall be put to death by stoning; they have no one but themselves to blame for their death. (Leviticus 20:27)

14.52 hrs -How long is it until dinner, could do with a snack, think there’s still that bag of Pork Crunch in my gadget bag:
Thus shall ye say to David, The king desireth not any dowry, but a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, 1 Samuel 18:25-27)


14.56 hrs - I haven’t seen tonight’s menu yet, I wonder if they have a Canadian Chicken Melt, haven’t had one of those for a while:
They will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth. (Matthew 13:41-42)

15.10 hrs - I really feel like a few pints after dinner, wonder if there is a decent pub near this hotel, can't drink and drive:
Anyone who is captured will be run through with a sword. Their little children will be dashed to death right before their eyes. Their homes will be sacked and their wives raped by the attacking hordes. (Isaiah 13:15-18)

15.15 hrs - I wonder if that pub I used to use over by Camber Docks is still going, mind you it was a bit rough in there last time I paid a visit:
If two Israelite men are fighting and the wife of one tries to rescue her husband by grabbing the testicles of the other man, her hand must be cut off without pity. (Deuteronomy 25:11-12)

15.16 hrs -But then again, there's always that place in Eastney that has live music and entertainment every weekend, but wasn't there a fight the last time I went there?:
Then an evil spirit from the Lord came upon Saul as he was sitting in his house with spear in hand and David was playing the harp nearby. Saul tried to nail David to the wall with the spear , but David eluded Saul, so that the spear struck only the wall, and David got away safe. (1 Samuel 19:9-10)


15.21 hrs - I hope that wedding reception downstairs dosent go on all night tonight, I have an early start home tomorrow:
But if this charge is true (that she wasn't a virgin on her wedding night), and evidence of the girls virginity is not found, they shall bring the girl to the entrance of her fathers house and there her townsman shall stone her to death, because she committed a crime against Israel by her unchasteness in her father's house. Thus shall you purge the evil from your midst. (Deuteronomy 22:20-21)


15.28 hrs - I have so much writing to do when I get back, better work all through Sunday so we can go out and relax on Easter Monday:
On six days work may be done, but the seventh day shall be sacred to you as the Sabbath of complete rest to the Lord. Anyone who does work on that day, shall be put to death. You shall not even light a fire in any of your dwellings on the Sabbath day. (Exodus 35:2-3)

Er maybe not….Bloody hell, I need some fresh air, hope its safe out there on Fratton Road, there could be a Gideon lurking in some doorway…………

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